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Another Version of Me
I acknowledge
this first crack
only in hindsight—
as a choice
that feels heavier
than it should,
as a hesitation
that didn’t exist
yesterday.
As my core compensates
before my fevered mind
catches up,
there appears to be no
specific moment in time—
just a shear flow
of redistribution.
In unyielding mass,
days pass.
The acknowledged crack grows
in forced obeisance,
as I grow in impatience.
Any alteration,
any anticipated change
prefers subtlety.
Unannounced damage
embeds as identity.
My harm
isn’t it breaking everything
but that it won’t
break a thing—
but simply redefine
what being intact
consists of,
until I suppress
there was ever
another version
of me.
©2026 Samia Oldman
CONTEXT
You are reading dystopian fantasy poetry collection the Hush Halo. After the Great Optimization a privileged group of people wired themselves tightly into the system by aligning with it and fully integrating. Systoics believe they’ve perfected themselves by stripping away everything that slows them down. Learn more about Realm or start from Square One.
Dystopian poetry by Sam Oldman. Soundscapes and images are created with AI.
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