This poem comes from missing the time when keeping quiet didn’t need an explanation, and I could figure myself out in peace. It’s part of my developing dystopian sci-fi poetry, the collection of HUSH HALO. At the time of writing, this poem is unpublished in print.
I Also Remember Why
Hush Halo · Poetry by Sam Oldman
I remember privacy.
Before silence looked like hiding,
before it sounded suspicious,
before it needed justification.I’m telling you,
it was interiority,
a secrecy of sorts.You wouldn’t know.
I remember
letting a thought form badly.
Even feeling strongly
before knowing why.I remember
leaving a message unread
and yet, somehow,
navigating the world.Privacy held a safe space
between my mistakes
and my identity,
giving me a hallway
to rehearse who I was,
who I wanted to grow into
one day.This space
where all of me
wasn’t accessible
in the holy name
of safety, care,
and control.When my moments
were not by default shared and measured,
optimized and corrected,
for the greater good
of me and you.I remember being bold,
as my moments were mine
to guard, to hide, to share,
or to hold.I know.
This all sounds absurd now
in this system
with a hollow eye
of overreaching,
searching and seeing,in a culture of the open diary,
unable to imagine why anything
would need to remain unseen
in the first place.I remember a time
when shame was let be,
without a progress bar,where crawlers
were not a forced
subscription setting,where the soul
was not auto-synced.I also remember why.
©2026 Sam Oldman
CONTEXT: This poem reflects on the realm chosen by Systoics, a privileged group that integrated into the system, believing they had now perfected themselves. After the Great Optimization we all had a choice.
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HUSH HALO is a dystopian sci-fi poetry collection set in a near-future, shaped by technology and irreversible choice. Poems have a unique soundscape. Images and soundscapes are created by the author using various generative tools.
I’m Sam.
A mother of two,
a neurohappy writer with
a shade of inbuilt melancholy.
Hush Halo is my indie art project.
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