Standing Guard
Years passed.
The shield grew used to my arm
like a tool learning from the hand
that never puts it down.Readiness became my posture.
I woke alert,
slept light,
ate standing.They called discipline a virtue.
I stopped noticing
what defense was doing to me—
how much of my interior
became collateral,how many quiet thoughts
were cleared away
to make room
for the guard.Stepping aside
was rarely allowed.Reality began to feel staged—
a set built around a threat
that never arrived
and never left.On a never ending watch
I stopped expecting relief.Vigilance eats the room inside you.
Was I guarding the world?
Or was I guarding a fantasy?No enemy came.
My posture remained.I stood there so long
the ground shaped
to my stance.I don’t know
how many years
I kept guard
before realizing
no one had ever planned
to let me rest.
©2026 Samia Oldman
WHAT IS HUSH HALO?
Hush Halo is a dystopian sci-fi poetry collection set in a near-future shaped by technology, and optimized perfection. Each poem is paired with a unique soundscape created by poet, in Suno. Learn more in Square One.
Context: After the Great Optimization, a privileged group integrated into the system, believing they had now perfected themselves.
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